He has the smile of an Englishman, the confidence of an American with the wit and charm of an Irishman. Yes good folk, the man I refer to, is none other than the "Sultan of the River," Mr. Neil Andrew Channing. Every once in a while you meet someone that you just can't help but like, and Neil fits that description. Breathe my friends, for he is a breath of fresh air.
After many a time of kicking tin cans along the streets of London and wondering if and when his ship would ever come in, Neil has finally hit the big time. Fresh from his huge win at the oldest and most prestigious poker tournament in all of Europe, the Paddy Power Poker Irish Open, he most recently captured the highly sought after Party Poker Nation's Cup where he beat us (the Irish team) on the last card dealt. The man is indeed on a roll.
But how is it that things could turn so quick in this man's favor you ask? Well, grab yourself a cup a tea and an old blanket, and allow me to tell the story and explain as to how it all came to pasture.
Now before I tell you this you have to promise not to tell a single soul..... OK then, here I go!
You see, I discovered it all after having a few too many pints of the black stuff with Neil at the bar in Dublin. While toasting his triumphant victory, he began to confide in me. He took me on a wonderful journey, where he spoke of goblins and fairies, witches and wizards, and the "Land of the Golden Challis."
At this point I stopped Neil and said, "C'mon now, are you going tell me or not?"
He smiled at me and he said "Ok Ciaran, can you handle the truth?"
"I can," says I, and off we went.
"Well," he said, "the night my luck changed was New Year's Eve. I had been out with a few friends but decided that I wanted too, for once, take it easy and watch the New Year festivities at home on the TV, but, quickly getting in the spirit of things watching all this joy and excitement, I decided to open this really old bottle of Champagne that I'd had for years. Well, after a couple of glasses I must have fallen asleep and began to dream."
Now, in this dream he found himself in this old bar in the west coast of Ireland called 'The Old Rogue'. It was a wet and windy night as he recalled it, with the halyards banging against the ship masts and water crashing up and over the old stone wall pier. It was a night indeed to be indoors with a hot toddy in your hand and a fire roaring up the chimney.
At this point I had to again stop Neil, for with all the talk of water I was bursting to go myself.
Now I'm back, we have a couple of more pints in front of us, and it was back to the dream.
"There had been many a ship wreck off this treacherous coast of Ireland," said Neil, "and it is believed by the old folk that lost souls still frequent this area and in particular, this old pub."
Now, as Neil's seems to remember, he's sitting next to the fire when he gets a tap on the shoulder and he looks around to see this absolutely gorgeous women standing there soaking wet. She asks Neil if she might share the fire with him (very well mannered indeed) and of course Neil obliges the young lady by removing his mucky boots off the chair and allowing her to sit down.
Now Neil, the astute poker pro that he is, seems to think that lady is in some way not of this time. Her attire is that of a woman from 16th or 17th century. Could she be one of these lost souls from one of the ship wrecks? Intrigued by the young lady Neil asked her, "do you come here often?"
Awww, come on Neil, you can do better than that lad!
She tells Neil that she is the daughter of the Earl of Connemara, and that she has been roaming these hills in search of her lost love Dec O'Cards.
At this point Neil can see that Lady is getting upset and is beginning to well up so he needs to intervene and prevent her from having a total break down.
So Neil elects to tell the Lady of some of his own misfortune and his poor endeavors, but after about fifteen hundred bad beat stories she eventually cuts him off and said that she too played, and that her lost love was also fond of the game and that it was at that very spot, that very table in a High-Low split game that she had met her love Dec, and they had fallen in love.
And now in some strange way this lady seems to feel that he was a gateway to her lost love, so she seduced him and deflowered him, and by doing this, Neil would never again be LAID a bad beat.
At this time Neil awoke to the clanging of bells and cheering from people outside on the street. He jumped up from his chair and looked out the window and trying to wipe the sleepy dust from his eyes he swears to me that he saw the lady and her love pass by the house!
So low and behold since that night Neil he has yet to have bad beat!
I'll leave you with this, a final note:
Now, I know this seems a wee bit far fetched, but there is little doubt that Mr. Channing has been king of the world in the last few months, and if only by some ancient champagne and tales of old ghost stories with the wind and rain that bring us good fortune, then who are we to deny. Remember, your ship can never come in if there isn't a dock there for it….. believe it-or not!
Ciaran O'Leary
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